10 THINGS BITCHES MUST KNOW RIGHT NOW

ONE

Myspace is BACK! Justin Timberlake is bring Myspace back and it’s sexier than ever. Now I’m not saying that 800 million Facebook users are going to switch to Myspace, but it’s a nice place to connect with friends and listen to your favourite music. VIBE.

TWO

BRITNEY SPEARS IS SINGLE. Now we all know that’s not exactly a teen dream anymore but she is still a major babe! So men get on it!

 

 

THREE

The Great Gatsby is coming out on 17 May.  That’s just enough time for us to prepare for the awesomeness that is Carey Mulligan and Leonardo diCaprio. So grab your hopefully tattered Fitzgerald copy and refresh your memory because this is going to be a big one. They didn’t call it the roaring 20s for nothing!

 

 

FOUR

Gwen Stefani is aging backwards. She will soon be an infant. No seriously I am worried about her. She is looking Taylor Swift-esque.

 

FIVE

Grimes has a speech impediment. You want proof? Bitch tweeted about it. BRB just re-listening to all her music to catch her in the act.

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I made a short video to express my feelings.

 

 SIX

A new Vida Café has opened on the corner of Roeland and Harrington Street. It’s not exactly world news but bitches love gelados and croissants so BAM. It’s super spacious and sexy and Nelson Mandela would definitely approve of it.

 

SEVEN 

“AFCON MUST BE WON BY AN AFRICAN COUNTRY”

Jacob Zuma

Yes it’s an exclusively African Tournament. Yes only African countries enter. YES. YES. YES.

 

EIGHT 

Click the link. Your life is changed. You’re welcome.

OMFGDOGS

 

NINE

BOO THE DOG. Boo the dog is the cutest thing on the planet. He has a website dedicated to him and a Facebook page. Hell there is even a book coming out. Join the cute kawaii revolution.

 

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TEN

The world is wondering what the Kimye baby will look like so we morphed their faces using some freaky online voodoo shit and VOLIA it looks like… PRINCE.

 

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There you go, 10 Things Bitches Must Know right now. How would you live without us?

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